Of Beastly Dreams and Vivid Scenes




I’ve lived with him my whole life, though it took a dear friend to help me identify what that dark and primal part of me really was. For years this part of me made me feel like I was a freak. That I was alone, no one would understand those desires which I kept buried. Even at a very young age I had thoughts of bondage, of doing things to girls, of special rituals with my mate. I knew those thoughts were not something to talk openly about, I knew I would be looked at strangely. Keeping those thoughts and desire locked down made it hard for me to make friends, to talk with girls. I think I also over compensated to the other extreme, by suppressing the primal darkness I became too nice. I let others take advantage of me as a child and as an adolescent.   It was not until I got into college I began to realize that other people had similar desires yet even then I was scared to go too far.

So what is Beast really? He is sex, he is power, he is hunger, he is strength, he is restless, he is my creativity, my passion, he is all that is hedonistic within me.



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